PinnedPublished inSlackjawMy Children Are Not The Content Mine I Imagined Them To BeMy ugly baby just sits there, doing nothing, being nothing, and most importantly: earning nothing.Jan 4, 202440Jan 4, 202440
Published inSlackjawUncle Siskel’s Cowboy Chili RecipeSometimes, my son Carrot gives a tug on my pant leg and asks why we can’t eat it every day.Jan 28Jan 28
Published inSlackjawUh Oh, Scientists Have Discovered That Milk Is CumThe confusion of the news stopped people in their tracks at first, but we didn’t question it. Milk was cum now, and we acted accordingly.Jan 72Jan 72
Published inRock n’ HeavyReflections on NOFXMy thoughts on the end of the storied career of a punk legends.Oct 16, 2024Oct 16, 2024
Published inSlackjawMan Card Revoked!“What good are you?” I yelled at my useless penis as I urinated.Jun 30, 20243Jun 30, 20243
Published inSlackjawI Thought I Was Using AI To Write My Novel, But It’s Just A Guy Named “Al”I typed a defiant “?” followed by a more prodding “????????”Apr 14, 20246Apr 14, 20246
Armin Meiwes, My Parents and Dinner.You burnt the penis? That is just a waste of penis.Jan 17, 2024Jan 17, 2024
I’m a Secondary Character on Murder, She Wrote, and I Have to Solve This Crime.She didn’t come alone, of course. The town’s overbearing mayor and useless sheriff were already on the scene, bumbling about, complaining…Dec 31, 2023Dec 31, 2023
Fourteen years ago, I put ketchup on a hotdog, and now I’m on death row in a supermax prison.Rudimentary phones with rudimentary cameras snapped pictures of a rudimentary man trying to enjoy a hot dog any damn way he pleased.Nov 20, 20232Nov 20, 20232